That awkward moment when you realize you enjoy being single but somehow you find yourself feeling “anxious” about being in a relationship again, yet you don’t feel 100% sure about wanting to commit - let alone open - to anyone
ever again for a long time, so you just wanna get out there and have some “fun”, yet you shudder at the thought of meeting new people - yes, by “people” I mean “girls” -.
That’s when you know you’re royally fucked up.
So I’m turning 28 today.
At first I thought I’d be freaking out cuz of this voice inside my head yelling “2 TO 30, 2 TO 30!”. But then I realized I’m finally moving on and I got some pretty fly-ass things to be happy about, like the fact that Culto De Anubis’ first EP is finally done and we’re releasing it soon, or the fact that I just finished writing my long-awaited “book”.
Yes, I’m “art-dependent”, so fucking what? As long as I’m - to quote the late Peter Steele - less miserable, who fucking cares?
I’m feeling good today. (:
You’re so pretty I wanna cry.
But I won’t.
(I’ve already cried my fucking eyes dry because of you)
So I just found out my ex has moved in together with - I assume - her new… boyfriend.
Also, the girl I’d lost my heart to seems to have embarked on yet another online - or not, but what does it matter now? - relationship.
I think I’m ready to throw a big-ass party, cuz THIS IS THE BEST FUCKING DAY EVER!
T’es quelqu’un sympathique, mais ça s’arrête là.
So I just found out I’ve been left bereft of sadness, or any other kind of feeling, for that matter.
I CAN’T FEEL A FUCKING THING ANYMORE.
So for the past few days since this whole “getting-reacquainted-with-my-innermost-self” phase started, I seem to have entered a whole new - although not too far from the old - dual system, That is to say, as I used to go about it back in the day, “roses for my friends, hemlock for my enemies”. No shades of gray there.
And you know what? It kinda works out for the best.